Seeing a cad makes me sad and even more mad!

My buddy...we'll call him JP, inspired me tonight. He gave me the motivation to write about something that has always ticked me off. Those of whom that can be considered cads. One definition of this word is as follows: A person whose behavior is unprincipled or dishonorable. It has come to my attention that my name has been sullied, soiled if you will. I like to think of myself as a pretty virtuous guy with a good personality and a work ethic that many would admire. Those reading this may believe I'm just tooting my own horn, but this couldn't be farther from the truth. These qualities have been pointed out to me by countless friends and colleagues over the years.
But there are those that do not emulate this type of attitude, in fact they are simply cads. They are of the belief that they are exempt from blame in situations where things go array. Finger pointing is at a premium with these type of people. They never feel as if they have done wrong and will stop at nothing to point out the supposed flaws of others. They will step on toes, skirt around corners, get on the good side of the right people as long as it means that their record and reputation stay squeaky clean.
I've never been one to play games or go behind someone's back whether we've had a disagreement or not. And this is with respect to my friends, family or anytime in my working life. I stand by that and I feel as if my loyalty and demeanor should be recognized, not overlooked as it consistently is where I work.
It seems to be the case that people don't seem to speak up when things are going well, only when a problem surfaces. An old woman isn't going to write to city hall to thank them for keeping the street smooth where she lives...instead she will contact them when a pothole is hindering her travel! She has no reason to make a stink otherwise.
Now the difference between this case and the cads I know and despise is that she has a legitimate gripe, while the others just enjoy the sound of their own voices. What boggles my mind more than anything else is how a person doing this can look at their reflection in the mirror without hanging their head. It astounds me how one can live comfortably knowing that they are unjustly ruining the life of someone else when their own inefficiencies are to blame for recent downfalls.
But in this man's humble opinion...a person of this nature...a true CAD will never truly understand that a problem, ANY problem, could be the direct result of their failure to complete a task on their own. It is a deficiency in the personality that disables your understanding of right and wrong in the proper context. Responsibility is an afterthought!
I wish these people didn't exist. Life is tough to begin with. I have a son and I am doing my best to raise him. He is only 4 and a half months old at this point, but I realize how arduous a task it will be in a world that is ever-changing. And to think that people like this unfortunately inhabit this planet, I shudder to think of what he may have to go through during his life dealing with those that live in their own delusional world of finger-pointing. If I could rid the world of that mentality and teach people to own up to mistakes when they make them, I would feel good about my time here on earth. But the list is long my friends...the list is long.

Be well until next time all.

This is Robby Radio...signing OFF!!!

Can I just get PAST this?

The past is something we lament over from time to time. Well others may consider it just being nostalgic as lament has the undertones of regret seeded within it's loins. I not only lament, but I also get nostalgic and fondly reminisce. This is, folks, the roller coaster that is Robby Radio's brain. Many twists, turns, tailspins, loop-de-loops even before I level off and land at my next mental destination.

You ever look at yourself in the mirror, so disgusted with yourself that you want to just reach out and strangle you or just punch yourself in the face? I would advise against that since you're in front of a mirror after all, but the sentiment is what matters. Frustration fills me to the brim on a near daily basis. I ask myself why I lament over things. I ask myself why I even become nostalgic or reminisce...fondly or otherwise and I can never answer my own question to my own satisfaction.

Truth be told, I'm my own worst enemy. I have been my entire life and while I know that I can anything I put my mind to, (stole that from an after school special *wink wink*) it still maddens me how I don't. It's like a case of writer's block that just won't go away. But I digress.

I sit here typing out my emotions while I could be focusing on something more relevant. Something that relates to my field or just something I'm interested in knowing about. I suppose it's helpful to have this catharsis of sorts from time-to-time, but I can't help but wonder if it is helping or hurting me.

In the past, I used to have more motivation, more ambitions, more go get'em type gusto. Now I'm more subdued and seem to care less about things I once did. I realize that as you grow older, interests change or your level with regard to those interests lessen or you just find other things to occupy your time. But I seem to be more fair weather than I have ever been and it scares the ever-loving shit out of me! I don't want to just settle, but this mental funk I'm in is so deep, I feel like I've been digging for years with little or no success.

While most know that I have a son now...aside from him, my motivation is sorely lacking. He gets me through most days. Looking at his smiling face makes me understand my purpose, but I KNOW that there is more out there for me to accomplish. It's just a matter of me figuring it out.

The rant is done for now.

This is Robby Radio...signing OFF!!!

Starting Fresh....again

Originally posted January 8th, 2008

Starting Fresh....again
Current mood: optimistic
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

It has occurred to me that I may have to take a step back from everything that has been going on in my life of late. You've heard the phrase, "Don't let life pass you by" right? Well, if you haven't, leave your room, go outside and meet society. After that, come back and read the rest of this.

For the rest of you, hang with me for a few. I had this thought a couple of days ago when I seemed to be utterly frustrated with everything and anything, no matter how big or small the problem was, regardless of whether I had control over the outcome or not along with tasks that were much simpler than I made them out to be on this particular day. Anyway, the point of this blathering is this: we all seem to get caught up in the rat race that is the everyday, at least I know I do. I have almost felt my life start to trickle through my fingers like sand filtering to the bottom half of an hourglass. Time seems to just evaporate in a day before I can even get even minor things done.

I now have a house which will seemingly be under construction until my future kids are no longer kids and my dog and cat have passed on into doggy and kitty heaven. My family (meaning my old immediate family, not the one I've started for myself) is not doing well...health wise that is. My mother and father are both ill and while I wish I could spend more time with them, life just seems to get in the way. No matter how hard I try to make time...the days grow shorter or so it seems.

I realize as we become adults, enter into new relationships and start families of our own, it's obvious to expect to have less time with your parents and siblings. It just doesn't seem fair. My father is someone that I can honestly say I never felt I got to spend enough time with. He worked really hard to just keep us afloat when I was a kid as did my mother who got a part-time job when I was younger. Looking back, I appreciate everything they did to keep our family together.

When I was younger, as most kids do, I concentrated on having fun with my friends, playing sports, my schoolwork (for the most part) and even bummin' around the house with either video games or the TV. We don't always take advantage of the bond we have with our parents. and you only get one set.

What I'm trying to say is that now that they're not in the best of health, I wish I could have spent more time with them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I still can't...but so much time has been lost and as I sit here and type out the rest of this blog, I can't help but wonder what could have been.

Now I'm going to hit you with a 180.

Remember in the beginning of this entry, I mentioned that I have to take a step back. Well, tomorrow, I will do my damn best to do that..to work on becoming better at managing time...to stop getting frustrated with the little things and look at the big picture more vividly. This is hopefully a day where I can look back and see where things began to ascend and my goals in life became more clear. Thank you all for reading my blog (if you haven't fallen asleep already). Hopefully the next entry will include some anger or hostility towards something going on in this crazy world of ours. And if it doesn't, give me suggestions about things that piss you off and maybe I can shed my own perspective on it. That's enough out of me for tonight.

This is Robby Radio...SIGNING OFF!!!

Jack vs. the Master of One

Originally posted November 6th, 2007



Jack vs. the Master of One
Current mood: confused
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

You've heard it before, but have you ever wondered about the importance of it?

Jack of all trades, master of none. This is something that gnaws away at my very being constantly.

I feel as if I fall within this category of people in this world. I know little bits of information about a lot of different jobs, facets of life, but have never truly felt comfortable professing absolute knowledge about any one subject overall.

Now a lot of my friends are scoffing at this notion immediately saying, "DUDE, you know a TON about sports!" Okay, so I know my fair share, but that still doesn't make me a master, just more well versed than others.

It occurred to me last week that maybe it's better to be a master of one, rather than jack of all, master of none. I understand the need to be well-rounded. And while I've NEVER been one to feel that I have to conform to the needs and wants of the masses (especially when I feel that they're all dipshits anyway), the reality does remain that a person can have more success if he/she is specialized in a specific field of study rather than knowing a little bit here and there. Now while you might appreciate more of what life has to offer by learning as well as applying different skills throughout your life, you may also find yourself stuck in a rut, reaching a state of boredom and eventually becoming depressed in your current situation if you choose to hop from job to job.

Depending on your lifestyle, this may appeal to you and if it does, then I say, go for it!

However the older you get, the tougher it becomes to continue these patterns without certain expected consequences, whether they be financially or emotionally.

Now if you are the Master of One, then you will be in high demand wherever you go. You will know everything there is to know about a particular subject matter and this is a luxury that will afford you job offers for the rest of your life. Now the downfall is that b/c you've chosen to exclusively focus on one field of study rather than dabble in a little of everything, you run the risk of pigeon-holing yourself as well. Also, the same applies as it does for Jack...if you develop discontent in your current position and want to pursue something else, it may be increasingly difficult as you get older and your priorities of survival change.

I don't know which is better. In fact, I am reaching out to those that may take a peek at this blog to give me your thoughts. I want YOU to tell me what you think is better and why. Getting a different perspective on this topic might help me unravel it a bit more in my own mind. Thanks for checking me out and hopefully staying awake...lol.


This is Robby Radio...signing OFF!

This time...it’s for real!

Originally posted October 27th, 2007



This time...it’s for real!
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Life

Ok everyone...I have an announcement. For those of you that know me pretty well, more than likely this is old new, but for the newbies...check this out.

I AM NOW OFFICIALLY A GROWN UP!!!

Remember a few months ago when I blogged about getting a house, only to quickly pull back the news...well, this time (refer to subject), IT'S FOR REAL...we have a house!!!

We closed on Friday and have been working pretty diligently the past couple of days trying to fix it up. Despite having Giants football on at noon, I will be at the house tomorrow to continue healing the wounded, discolored and battle-tested structure that will soon become my official home.

Not much to say at this point other than I'm evidently excited, overwhelmed, exhausted, but looking forward to making it grand. Just wanted to share the news...As soon as I have pics...I will share.

This is Robby Radio...signing off!!!

KHS 10 Year Reunion

Originally posted October 9th, 2007

KHS 10 Year Reunion
Current mood: relaxed
Category: School, College, Greek

Ok, so Rosa, you've gotten your wish...this is the part where I tell you all about how wonderful the 10 year reunion was.

WRONG!!!

So here are the pros and cons...

Pro 1 - I got an opportunity to see people that I haven't seen in years and while I may not have been tremendously close with each and every one of them...it was still nice to see those faces. As I pointed out while I was there to those that I did have mini-conversations with, we're all grown-up now. We're not in high school anymore...we don't have to find our identities and we don't need to prove ourselves to others. I know that some like to go to reminisce...others to simply just find out what came of their former classmates. I can appreciate that sentiment myself. I won't lie...I was curious. Unfortunately and here comes...

Con 1 - THERE WAS NOBODY THERE!!! I can't tell you how disappointed I was when I got there. We were lucky and I mean LUCKY if there were 40 graduating students there. Now we graduated 371 people in 1997. (How I know the exact number...what can I say, I'm good like that) If you told me that only 10% of our class would show up to this event, I would have told you that you were insane. I can say I expected to see maybe...MAYBE 100 people...TOPS. That would have been acceptable to me. This just led me to believe that high school wasn't all that important to those that graduated with me in the class of '97. I can understand why most of them did NOT show. Here comes negative numero due.

Con 2 - The fee to be a part of the reunion was $83 per person. Now initially, if you tell me that I'm paying that much for my ticket...certain inclusions come to mind. The first would be the location...part of the money would go towards booking this place. The next and probably even MORE obvious...the food. We have to eat right? With food you need music to bring us back to our high school years. I can see our contribution helping to pay for a DJ as well. The other thing (which most would put first you damn alcoholics) is the bar...open bar...RIGHT?

UHHHH...no.

Not on this night. Now while I will not gripe about this...I will point out that there were some rumblings amongst those that were there that this event had a cash bar. What's worse is that it would have been an open bar had we paid another 8 dollars apiece! Again, I know Cristina did what she deemed best for all of us...but I think I can speak for most when I say that I would have shelled out an extra 8 buckaroos for an open bar. I will also guarantee that we would have had a bigger turnout if an open bar was part of the occassion's equation. So rather than pay $83 and drink all night, we paid $83 ALONG WITH our drinks (if we chose to do so while we were there).

I'm not one for rating people or things...but since this relates to school and I had to give it a grade...I'd say a C-

What goes into this grade besides a lack of an open bar...the food was just okay, nothing spectactular...the music wasn't bad, but the DJ was lax in getting our requests played. I would have understood if we had a bunch of people there running up to make requests...but you could hear an echo when you talked...this is how devoid of people this reunion was. Truly sad. The best part...to me...was when Vinny DaCuhna proposed to his girlfriend midway through the night. She said yes of course. (That would have REALLY put a damper on things if she didn't) That helps to raise the grade...it was a nice moment. There were a couple of people that disappointed me. I won't toss around dirty laundry by revealing their names...but one or two seemed a bit snobbish and another just didn't seem to even remotely resemble the person they were in high school. Now I know people change, but this was dramatic...and I'm not even talking about appearance folks...I mean the personality went from outgoing and friendly to a recluse that sounded like a kid that just lost their best friend or watched someone kick their dog. I felt for them. I tried to make conversation...joke around a bit...but they seemed to become more reserved.

To make a long story short (too late I suppose)...I enjoyed the people, not enough of them. Food was eh...music was okay. The place was nice but paying for booze...not happy about that. I hope this will help those that did not come...SHAME ON YOU ALL (but in retrospect I don't blame you). If it doesn't...well then what can I say, you should have experienced it for yourself...I mean think about it. A 10 year reunion only comes around...well...10 years after you graduate! Hopefully, if we even have another one...maybe in another 10-15 years...it'll include even more people and we'll all have a good ole time!

This is Robby Radio...errr... Regular Rob signing off!

Possible Saturation

Originally posted August 6th, 2007

Possible saturation
Current mood: drained
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Ever hear the saying, "If you find something you love, stick with it" or one more adequate for this blog's purpose..."If you love what you do, you'll never have to work a day in your life"? If you have, then follow me as I examine this more closely.

I am going to do my best to straddle the fence and for my own protection, I will wear a cup in case I fall in the middle when all is said and done. On the train ride home, I was pondering the idea that there is a saturation point at which your job, or even in more general terms, any activity you are engaging in at a given time, becomes mundane and loses its luster.

Is this possible if you love it that much? I think so.

Too much of anything can be a bad thing. (it can be a good thing too, but we're trying to be negative here damnit!!!) Eating is great...you get to try new foods and test your pallate with cuisines from all over the world, however this may lead to obesity from overeating or possibly a low balance in your checking account from constantly hitting up new restaurants for a night out on the town.

Working out...this can help enhance the functionality of your heart and your cardiovascular system as a whole. You can lose weight, tone up and reduce body fat as well. But if you grind it out too often, you may run the risk of taxing your body to the point of fatigue as well as developing nagging joint aches and pains that might otherwise have been non-existent if not for your over-indulgence at the gym.

Reading is great. Not enough children actually go home after school anymore and read just for recreation. They just pull out their video game system of choice or pop on some TV dulling their minds to the point where zombies might even say, "hey kid...go read a book" OR "go outside and play already!".

Notice the trend...2 sides to everything...which is what has led to my confusion in this matter. I work for Major League Baseball's website A.K.A. MLB.com. Whenever anybody asks me where I work, I can barely get to explain my actual duties to them before their eyes light up exuding an obvious appreciation for my position. I sometimes say to myself..."I am lucky to be working in sports and more so in baseball". I hear this from some friends too, "Do you know how many people would kill to be in your shoes?" and while I can't possibly disagree with their assessment, it's not completely black and white.

When you're working...you are working. You have to fully concentrate on your duties in order to complete the numerous tasks at hand on and given day/night. Now while there may be perks (not too many)...it seems to me (at least lately) that while baseball has been one of my favorite sports over the years...it is slowly but surely starting to take a backseat to the pigskin.

I can remember back about 5-6 years ago sitting in front of my computer and trying to dig up ridiculous stats just because I wanted to know about them. There wasn't a necessity really to just know, I just felt compelled to read because it was fun. Now don't get me wrong, I can still read and enjoy, but researching feels more a chore of late than a leisurely activity.

It also doesn't help when my boss is on my case about every little thing either.

I do agree that you should love what you do...but I can't agree with the line that immediately follows that saying "...you'll never have to work a day in your life". To try and tell me that it doesn't feel like work is preposterous. Can you like what you do? Sure! Will there be hectic days? Absolutely! With this in mind, I feel like any job, love it or not, will seem like work when all is said and done. There is nothing wrong with that though. We all have to work usually starting in our teen years (unless you're still working on removing your silver spoon) up until you're in your mid to late 60s. The reality is...if you don't work, you don't get paid and if you don't get paid, you don't make money and if you don't make money, survival becomes utterly impossible.

I had so much enthusiasm when I started here thinking that this was going to be the job I would have for the next 20-30 years. If you told me 3 years ago that I would begin to tire of my job, I would have had Dr. Happy and his friends with the white coats cart you off.

I still watch baseball and enjoy my Yankees, but I observe that I don't have the same fire I once did about the sport. There could be many reasons outside of my job that could contribute to this, but I wonder if my feelings towards the sport that I've lived, breathed and eaten throughout my life would be tremendously altered if I didn't work in it.

I mean I'm an assman as it were, but I'm not going to go out and become a proctologist…you know?

Anyway, I've babbled long enough…time to go fix me some lunch….mmmm mmm meatloaf!

This is Robby Radio…signing off!